Tuesday, April 1, 2014

"It's Safe For Me To Be Assertive"

Have you experienced one or all of these situations.....

  • Situation 1:   Your caught in the middle of a confrontation...dreading to argue, you decide to keep the peace and stay quiet.

  • Situation 2:   Your day is filled to the brim with "to do" items, most of them devoted to a project you need to finish, but your friend calls asking to hang out, and you decide to go--not to hurt your friend's feelings.

  • Situation 3:    You found out that someone has just started a rumor about you, that is totally untrue...you say to yourself, "Alright, I will reciprocate!"


"It's Safe For Me to Be Assertive"  What does this affirmation mean for us? 

Being assertive means to be true to our beliefs--to live our lives with integrity--to put our best, truest intentions forward.  To be assertive means to be true to ourselves.  Whenever we find ourselves in the above situations or others that seem to test our limits, we must remember to say, feel and know that it is safe for us to be who we are and stand up for what is true in our hearts...in a loving manner- not in an aggressive manner---This is truly what it means to be assertive.



How do we apply being assertive within the above situations?


Situation 1:  When we are arguing with someone, we need to make our voices be heard.  We can't stuff down how we feel and pretend we aren't feeling hurt.  We need to stick up for ourselves. Assertively though--without yelling or name calling, in a loving manner, we have to inform the other person what we are feeling and our opinions within the situation.  Being aggressive by yelling, doesn't solve the issue and more feelings will get hurt. 

We are not here to change anyone's mind or convince anyone of anything, however we must let the other person know that we do have a say.  We have to do this assertively (with confidence and self esteem), without hurting the others feelings.  If you still can't come to terms with the other person, then that person's energy and agenda, is not meant to be in your world.

Situation 2:  When we make personal commitments to ourselves to get things done, and then we don't follow through with them, we feel upset and off balance.  We are trying to keep up with aligning ourselves with the goals we see ourselves in and then the energy we are in reality, really putting into.  If you promised yourself that you'd stay home to finish a project, and someone invites you to go out the same day, its okay to say no.  You have the right and freedom to manage your own time.  Your friend will understand that you have a prior commitment to yourself that you must keep.  Don't be worried or afraid to stick to your intentions for yourself.

Situation 3:  Rumors swirl around everyday.  It can't be stopped, however you can control how you handle it.  Take back your power and realize that rumors are just like a balloons that will eventually run out of air.  Rumors come from a fearful, ego centered place.  You know who you are and what is true.  The truth always comes out and that's your best defense!

~Andrea~ =)

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